In one of today’s seminar’s, Tim Muehlhoff focused on the idea that every conversation has a communication climate. His definition of a communication climate is ‘the sense of value that two people feel  as they are engaged in the conversation.’ A communication climate is as real as the temperature or weather climate outside. How fun is a picnic in a thunderstorm or 120 degree heat? Not very.

We must constantly evaluate the climate of our conversations with people in order to be effective communicators. It’s important to look past surface level impressions and stereotypes in order to understand why the person you are conversing with is the way they are. Proverbs 20:5 says, “The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.” Everyone has a story and background, and unless we are committed to getting to know and listen to their story, our words may fall on deaf ears. 

Meuhlhoff gave four elements that need to be present in a conversation/relationship, and they are great gauges to see whether or not a platform has been built for the hearing of the gospel.

They are:

• acknowledgment
• expectations
• trust
• commitment

Acknowledgment seems to be the element I lack in the most, so I’ll expound a little on that one, and then give brief summaries and questions for the other three.

Acknowledgment
Have I taken time to consistently seek out and acknowledge this person’s perspective? Have I shown that their opinion is valuable?

Tim points out three types of relationships: I/it relationships, I/you relationships, and I/thou relationships.

I/It relationships: We treat people as non-humans. Some examples of these types of relationships that people are often guilty of is their view of the homeless, disabled, mentally handicapped, transvestites, etc. 

I/You relationships: We treat people only as their social position defines them. Some examples of this are the waiter in the restaurant, the worker in the post office, the street cleaner or garbage man. We treat people as if their value were defined by their job, rather than the fact that we are all created in the image of God. “A person who is kind to you, but mean to the waiter in not a kind person.”

I/Thou relationships: We treat people as created in the image of God with value and unique talents. This is how all our relationships should look like. 

Some ways of showing that you acknowledge and respect the other person’s point of view and opinion:

• “What you have said has made an impression on me.” (Only if it really has made an impression on you. Proverbs 24:26 says, “Whoever gives an honest answer kisses the lips.”) 
• Seek to show that you are working to understand what they are saying.
• Let the person know that their feelings are important, and that you aren’t just dismissing them.

Muehlhoff also gave two reasons why we aren’t very good in the acknowledgment area. The first is that we have agenda anxiety. We feel as if we have to get our point across no matter how awkward or horrible the conversation is going. It’s the attitude of “we’re finally talking about this, and I’ve been waiting and longing for this moment so now I’m going to say everything that I want to say on the subject.” It’s very hard to evaluate the climate of the conversation when this becomes our mindset. Agenda anxiety runs the risk of stopping a good conversation in its tracks, and preventing further conversations. Proverbs 18:19 says, “A brother offended is more unyielding than a strong city.” 

The second reason we are not very good at acknowledgment is we are fearful of weighty thinkers because of insecurities about our Christian faith. We have failed to learn many of the basics of our faith, and therefore, create stereotypes in our minds of certain people. Many view postmodernists as mindless relativists because they don’t claim definite truths. In reality, most postmodernists are extremely brilliant thinkers who have correctly rejected the works of modernists, but have missed the mark in other ways. By acknowledging them as great thinkers, we are more capable of having a fruitful conversation with them. Obviously, we are not to compromise or ‘meet-in-the-middle’ on key doctrinal principles, but acknowledging that you respect them as a human being even though you may not agree with their beliefs will keep communication lines open. 

I do not respect the religion of Islam, but I respect the Muslim.

Expectations
The second element is expectations. Both expectations that we have of others and that others have for us.

Have you been judgmental or overbearing in this relationship/conversation? Are you prideful or arrogant about what you believe (it’s because of God’s grace that you even believe what you do)? You are in no way more deserving of God’s grace than they are.

Trust
The third element of a conversation climate is trust. In today’s society, trust is being trampled by politicians, sports figures, religious figures, presidents, etc. You can hardly believe anything you hear on Fox News or MSNBC because of the political spin put on everything.

Can this person trust your motives? Are you having an authentic conversation with them? Are you trying to win them to your way of thinking, or do you truly care about them as an individual with whom God wants to reconcile to Himself?

Commitment
How much time are you investing into this relationship? How much energy are you investing into this relationship? How concerned are you for the welfare of this individual? Are you being a good neighbor?